Sunday, January 23, 2011

I'm fine. Promise.

 I do miss Steven very much. Very much.

But, I just want to take this opportunity to say that my life does not "suck." I rather enjoy it, even under this circumstance.

 I also want to take this opportunity to say that I do not hate military life. I know a lot of people who do. I feel really blessed that Steven and I have had such a good experience so far. So, I got that goin' for me...which is nice :). But then again I'm easily impressed/amused. I can be pretty happy just about anywhere, (remember when we lived in a hotel for four months?).


But the time has come: deployment/going "down range,"/"Playing in the sandbox"(Don't use that last one--it's kind of offensive). Again, don't cry for me Argentina. Really, don't. From the time Steven and I started dating, (about five years ago) I have known he was going to be in the military. I have had all these years to mentally understand that this would eventually happen--so, what I'm trying to say is: "This is not a shock," (although I was surprised they sent him so soon). True, I had a good four years of college to put off really thinking about it--but it was always "there," like a big inevitable elephant in the room. Don't get me wrong, when he left I threw a pretty big pity party for myself (sorry you couldn't make it). It's not fun. I don't like it. I do know that there is reason for this though. God has put this here, (and all the future deployments) for a very specific, and very perfect purpose. While I have no idea what that purpose is yet, I know it's there and that everything is exactly as it should be. All I know is that I do not have the luxury to fall to pieces (remember that baby that's coming in two weeks?) and fortunately, I don't feel like I'm going to. Plus, sitting around feeling sorry for myself, (which, I have to say--usually feels so good) won't help anyone.

Here's the baby that's "supposed" to come in two weeks. Yeah right.


It's going to take some getting used to. The last seven or eight months have been virtually responsibility free for me. And that's for a lot of reasons, but one of the main reasons is that Steven was the only person with any authority to get us, "squared away" (Look! An Army expression!) so he had to handle almost everything. Now that he is gone, and now that I have some authority, I'll have to adjust to taking care of things myself. Fortunately Steven organized a lot of affairs before he left.

I can't stress enough that this situation could be so much worse. So much worse on a million different levels. Please don't feel sorry me, (I'm kinda gettin' that vibe from some of you). I'm a big girl. And in those situations where I'm not feeling so "grown up" I have a lot of support from both the military community, and my new German family. A lot of people experience deployment for 12 to 15 months, (sometimes even longer) We are so lucky that this, (our first deployment) is such a short deployment. We are also lucky to being living in such a fun and beautiful place, and to have a baby coming, and to have such wonderful people around us, and that we are being taken care of by the Army, and our family, and our new friends. I say these things because I know you might be worried, but don't worry for me. I am flattered when some of friends use the words, "brave" or "strong" to describe me right now, and I understand some of that are just warm words of encouragement, which I appreciate a lot. But really you would do the same thing in my situation. Because you'd have to.

I keep myself busy. I do a lot of cleaning. I took a toothbrush to all the nooks and crannies in the car yesterday. I also took all the hooks and handles off the kitchen drawers and cleaned them, (I don't know, they looked dirty). I have also now found a specific place for every item in the home. There are no junk drawers. Everything has a label. There are also no loose pieces of paper, or documents, or magazines. Everything has a file. I also do a lot of re-arranging of the furniture, and pictures on the walls. But then, I have nothing else going on--so why wouldn't I do these things?

I also try to fill my time with some social interaction, (which is hard for me--I'm relatively shy in new places, and with new people--it takes some effort on my part). Last week I went to a pre-natal class offered on base by the ACS (Army Community Service) that I thought was going to discuss labor and delivery. Unfortunately the class is actually a series of classes that begin in January and last nine months. SO, everyone in there was pretty much in their first/second trimester, and the topic of discussion was essentially: eat healthy and exercise. Groundbreaking stuff really. I also went to church with a new friend (someone who is actually close to my age for a change!), and had lunch with the Chaplain and his family, and two other wives whose husbands are deployed. I also went to a German Bridal Show in Vilseck with my landlord, (no one is getting married--it was just for fun).

Like I said--don't worry for me.

You CAN worry/think about/and pray for Steven! I'd appreciate that.

Steven is headed to the Kabul province of Afghanistan, (oh man I hope that's right. How embarrassing if it weren't!). He will be able to Skype you, and Facebook you, as long as he has internet (which he should). I'm not sure what his forwarding address is over there, but as soon as I know, I'll let you know and give it to you if you'd like it. This is a tiny baby deployment--five/six months--so you may not be able to send giant "care" packages. You'd probably have to send one tomorrow if you want him to receive it on time. But I'll let you know. I'm not sure what his "job" will be yet. He'll find out once he gets settled in there. Steven's branch in the Army is "Quartermaster," better known as "Supplies and Logistics." So, think tanks, and gas, and water, and guns, and food, and supplies, etc. So whatever he does, will have something to do with that.

2 comments:

  1. Are you sure you are really pregnant Blayne????

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  2. I have never seen anyone that unpregnant looking two weeks from delivery.. Prayers for both you and Steven. The time will pass very quickly I am sure and he will be home safely before you know it. Love you!!!

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