Friday, May 13, 2011


Before I even start--let me give you a run down of the evening:

6:30   Leave my friends at the restaurant, early, because Baby Monster, (AKA Ava's alter ego) showed up. I suppose I shouldn't call her that--her body has decided to "teethe" early. So really, "Teething Monster" showed up. 
6:45   Start "Baby Spa Time" early. Again--it worked like a charm. Soothed a level of screaming that I don't care to describe.  Unfortunately I had to take Ava out of the tub of bliss eventually.
7:30   Ava is down to sleep.
7:32    Nope..she's up.
8:00    Finally Ava really had arrived at Sleepy Town.  
8:01    I head to the kitchen. There are dishes in the dishwasher waiting for me. Surprise! The dishwasher has not even run! And the lights are blinking! I go fish the manual out of the office, and begin the DIY dishwasher repair--which mainly consisted of me pushing the stove, sink, and dishwasher out from the wall, and pulling on all the hoses. And simply turning the dishwasher on and off, on and off.  
8:30   Fixed. "That was easy!"
8:31   I decide to try on my dress for Steven's homecoming. It's adorable. However, I couldn't unzip the zipper. So with my super human mom strength, I manage to pull (more like rip) the zipper down. I thought, "Hey--maybe it was just a little stuck?" and put the dress on; only I could no longer zip the dress---because I broke the zipper.  

8:32  I move to the kitchen for a the mending kit, "Maybe I can fix this," (yeah right!) when I notice the lights blinking on the dishwasher again..."What?" So back to the pulling and pushing. Too hungry to continue. Too tired to cook anything. 

8: 33  So here I am. Sitting at the kitchen table in my broken dress, eating cold spaghetti, (because my euro microwave takes a million minutes to heat) listening to a dishwasher on the fritz. Lamenting the laundry I need to do....but I can't do laundry because there is a spider in the laundry room. 

       I know there is a spider in the laundry room because last night I saw him, and last night I fainted because I saw him. FAINTED! Because of a spider! Many of you may know my fear of spiders, but I have never been so afraid as to faint, (I'm not a cartoon character). I can only attribute this reaction to a combination of being startled, scared, and supremely tired. According to the clock I was only out for a few seconds. All I can remember is turning on the light, seeing the large, toddler-sized spider, and then waking up on the floor.  I know he's still down there waiting for me.....

waiting...the way spiders do.

 (FAQ) "But Blayne? Why didn't you just step on him?" That is the dumbest question ever. First of all,  he was on the wall. I wasn't going to attempt to round-house-kick-him to the face. Second of all, what if I missed? He'd just be angry and tell all of his friends. Third, I think he already IS angry. I think he's the same spider I trapped inside of box a few weeks ago, (only he's gotten bigger). 

All of this rambling to say: JUST A FEW MORE WEEKS! Steven will be home this month!

This mess of an evening, and the spider-event that ensued last night, had me realize just how much I miss Steven being here. For a lot of the obvious reasons, but also for the little stuff. Not just to kill spiders, but to give hugs, and kisses. To go on walks with. To watch movies with. To laugh with.To eat dinner with. To wake up next to. To talk to. I miss my best friend, and my husband.

(And I also miss having someone else around to eat the food. When all the ice cream is gone, I can't say--"Well, I'm sure Steven had at least half." Because he didn't. I ate it all. By myself.)

 I am of course obviously excited to have my best friend, and my husband back home; but I'm even more excited for Ava's dad to be home. He'll be here to play with her, and teach her things, and read to her, and you know--do all that "dad" stuff.

Being a single mom (geographically speaking) has been a tough adventure. I have tremendous respect for women who take care of children on their own. Not because I can relate. I don't think I can entirely. Yes, I'm here with Ava alone, but I'm not balancing a job, or juggling finances. I'm not taking care of anyone besides her, and myself--and sometimes it's STILL difficult. Hence the respect.

But the experience has taught me a lot about independence. If I can handle a newborn baby for the first time, in a foreign country, without friends and family, (besides the new ones I've made of course!) with a husband in Afghanistan, of all places, I can probably handle most things, (maybe). Do I feel guilty for giving myself this "pat on the back?" NOPE!

Very soon we will be adjusting to "new normal" (thanks Keely Steger) yet again. Steven will return home to a baby, where there once was none. When he left it was just the two of us. Now he'll hit the ground running with three.

But it's alright. I don't complain. I don't feel like I need to. I love it here, and I've made a lot of friends who are more like family. The Army has been really good to us. And I'm so proud of Steven.

It will be strange/interesting/fun/scary/new/etc./etc./etc. I like to think that unchartered waters can be pretty exciting though.

And we will get to be a family;  so we've got that goin' for us--which is nice :).