Monday, August 6, 2012

Comparathon

 I haven't blogged in a long time, because...

I just didn't feel like it! :) 

Then my friend Mary Rachel, (this is a link to her blog: go here instead of reading the rest of my "blah-g") nominated me for  a"Liebster" award. A few months ago I was nominated for a Liebster award  by Sarah Lillian from this blog, (Go there now!! Today she has a recipe for Guacamole--- AND I DO NOT). 

I'm convinced I won these awards because they go to people who have less than 200 followers. 

Three cheers for mediocrity!

I want to apologize to you, my Dearest Five, (as in, Dearest Five Readers Total). I will try to blog more regularly. Most of my updates have been going towards Facebook; because it's just easier. Facebook, however, has become quite the comparathon. I've noticed everyone has been hard at work, putting their best selves forward---while simultaneously trying to sound perfectly self deprecating. 

Buncha liars. Tsk tsk tsk.

But I'm proud of you :) 

Instead of lifting each other up---we're all crushing each other one Instagram photo at a time. 

Well done. Not sure what I'm talking about? It looks like this:


STATUS SAYS:
Jane Doe: "Some days I feel so exhausted. I think the fact that I'm volunteering at an animal shelter part time, single handedly organizing the church picnic, and taking in foster children might be too much. Good thing I'm not too busy to hit the gym! (Inserts hand-on-hip photo of self in bikini and tennis shoes)"

STATUS MEANS:
Jane Doe: "Im exhausted. I hate volunteering at the animal shelter. I'm quitting next week. This photo is from six months ago---and I hadn't eating anything in ten days" 

STATUS SAYS: 
Suzy Smith: "Has the most amazing hubby in the whole wide wide wide world!!! Gosh he spoils me. (Inserts photo of flower arrangement, box of candy, teddy bear, and diamond encrusted necklace) Can't wait for our date night! I love date nights with my hubby-bubby-wubby so muchy!!!" 

STATUS MEANS:
Suzy Smith: "Husband bought me all this crap after I sobbed for an hour to him about how he never tells me how beautiful I am! All my friends statuses are about how their husbands tell them how beautiful they are! I'm excited for our date night. We actually go out regularly---but sometimes I forget to post about it on Facebook."

STATUS SAYS: 
Mary Jones: "Gosh I love being a new mommy. I was born to do this. I think I want to have 100 more children. It's just so rewarding. Everyone NEEDS to have a baby right now! :) I want to type more, but I can't because I need to breastfeed my baby---which of course it the most wonderful amazing gift you can give to your newborn infant. There is no other gift that is better. I feel so sorry for all the mommies out there who can't :( Saying a prayer for them now." 

Mary Jones: "I do love being a mommy. But breastfeeding is killing me, and I'm so exhausted and overwhelmed I have no idea what I'm saying right now. Praying I look good over Facebook." 

STATUS SAYS:
Blayne Royse: Dressing up for a fun night out with friends was just what I needed after being covered in peanut butter and finger paint all day. :)



This status says the following:

1. My husband takes me out on super dressy occasions, simply because it's "just what I needed."  No big deal.

2. I was covered in peanut butter and finger paint today, not because I'm a slob--because I'm such a great, hands on, involved mommy. :) 

The truth behind this photo:

1. This was a scheduled, military event. It was "mandatory fun." Well--for Steven it was.  

2.  I was covered in peanut butter and finger paint---but it was because I'm slob, and I was wearing the same dirty shirt from the day before... oops. 
       
                                                              3.  My friend Emily graciously took 6 photos of the two of us, until we got one that I thought would be acceptable for Facebook. 
                                                              4. This photo is the sit-down version of having my hand on my hip.

See what I did there at the end? I didn't want Jane, and Suzy, and Mary to be too mad at me. Because the truth is, I too, am guilty of this best-self-forward-Facebook-faking. I think there are certainly things that are worthy achievements for Facebook. I think they include life events, like getting married, having a baby, buying a home, finishing a marathon, graduating from college. People like to share in these joys. Those events are wonderful, and inspire people. They make people happy. 

HOWEVER, most people know the subtle difference between this:

"Can't wait to bring home the new baby!" 

And this:

"Can't wait to bring home the new baby in my Ergo carrier! I sure hope she fits in her brand new Britax carseat! Goodness knows that carseat barely fits in our brand new BMW! So blessed! :)"  

Facebook is one big Comparathon. Which is why I consider leaving the book of faces. Rest assured, Dearest Five, If I do leave, I WILL blog more. My mom would be so mad if I didn't. 

So, in the spirit of my Liebster award nomination, AND in the spirit of honesty and full disclosure. I'm going to answer my Liebster questions from Mary Rachel. 

1. What is your favorite hobby? I like running. I like to run four miles. No more, no less. Four is good. 
2. Beach or Mountains? Tough choice...."Beachtains". :) 
3. Who is in your family? Well, the short answer would be: I have a older brother, two older sisters, and a little brother. I have a husband named Lieutenant Steven Royse, (I call him "sir") and a baby I affectionally refer to as "Bunny."
4. Favorite Movie: I tell people my favorite movie is Gone With The Wind. That's mostly because I haven't been to the movie theater is about two years. But it's all trash and naked people now anyway, right? 
5. Favorite Book Series: I don't read much fiction. I really do love non-fiction though. Right now I'm interested in where our food comes from, and global warming. (And then all of her readers participated in the largest simultaneous cyber eyeroll in history.)
6. Where do you consider home? Wherever we are. 
7. Where do you see yourself in ten years? I don't know. I hope we're doing basically the same things were doing now. 
8.  Who is the one person you look up to the most? Lieutenant Steven Royse
9. Do you like your name? Does it have any special meaning? I do like my name. It means "wisdom from within." No, it has no special meaning. 
10. Least favorite household chore? Taking the recycling to the Recycling Center. 
11. What does an average day look like for you? Since you asked:

Ava wakes up around 6:00 and I nurse her, and then put her back to sleep. I get up and drink coffee and judge everyone on Facebook. :) Around 7:30 Ava wakes up, and Lieutenant Steven Royse comes home from PT (mandatory Army exercise) and we have breakfast. Steven leaves and Ava and I get dressed. We play for about 30 minutes, and then I do cleaning and laundry. Steven comes home and we have lunch, and then Ava goes down for a nap.I take a short nap, then I work on stuff around the house. When we wake up and have a snack, and run errands, meet friends for coffee, or go to the park. Then we come home, finish laundry and pick up the house, and start dinner. After dinner Steven gives Ava a bath and reads her a story, while I clean up dinner. Then I nurse her once more and put her down for bed. I go for a run, while Steven showers and shaves. Then we hang out. Then we go to bed. The End. 


Really, the end. :)